Every once and a while, we get an inside look from a top networker in the field. Here’s what Todd Falcone has to say about what is holding you back from success … read on!
As a lifelong network (20 years) and trainer for the past five years, I’m often troubled as to why so many people who want success, never achieve it.
I’ve literally found myself numerous times laying awake in bed at night frustrated over this subject. Call me crazy. Or, call me caring.
One thing I’ve found about successful people in network marketing, they often want it for their team, much more than their individual team members want it for themselves.
I often recognize talent and ability in people that they don’t even see in themselves. One habit for ALL OF YOU to get into…and it is a highly effective habit, is when you DO recognize someone who has special talents and so on, TELL THEM!
You can often move someone into action by praising them and publicly and privately recognizing their strengths.
I have a question for you.
What’s holding YOU back?
I’m not assuming that there’s anything holding you back, but if you’re not playing to your full potential, what is it that’s stopping you?
There really are some fairly basic reasons why people don’t take action, the kind of action they KNOW they want to take in their businesses.
Here’s some that I see are fairly prevalent.
- “I don’t know what to do.”
- “I’m afraid of getting rejected.”
- “I can’t stand it when people say ‘no’. It hurts.”
- “Stuff just seems to get in the way.”
- “I don’t have the confidence to prospect.”
- “I’m afraid of failing.”
- “I’m afraid of succeeding.”
- “It just seems hard and kind of scary.”
Of course, there are other reasons why people don’t take action. We can call those things DISTRACTIONS. We ALL have them. There’s always something that will get in the way if you let it. Everyone has distractions.
However, it is those that make building their business a PRIORITY that make it. In the first paragraph of this newsletter, I referenced that there are a lot of people that “want” to be successful.
Unfortunately, wanting to be successful doesn’t cut it. You’ve got to turn your WANTS into MUSTS.
Here’s how I look at it. If we could alleviate all of the above excuses, there would probably be a lot more people who would work their way into earning a really good full-time income in their network marketing businesses.
I realize that it takes work. Anything worthwhile is working toward. It’s taken ME an awful lot of work to get where I am today.
But… you know what? I would have had to work to make money doing something else. So…I just CHOSE to get serious about it and personally deal with some of the 8 demons I referenced above.
I’ve had to deal with every single one of those in my life and through my network marketing career.
Want to know how I did it and how YOU can too?
I thought so. Let’s look at each of them briefly and logically. Then, I’ll give you a real, lasting solution that might help you GET moving and KEEP yourself moving from this point forward.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Totally fair. Heck. When I started in this business, I was brand spanking new and didn’t have a clue what to do. The SECRET. Get yourself in front of as much GREAT TRAINING as you can. Learn from your leaders. Learn from the doers. Work with them. Team up with them. Copy them. Duplicate EXACTLY what they do. I’m not even talking about me. Sure…I’ve got lots of great “how to” training to offer you, but having multiple people to learn from is good. The KEY is listening, learning…and most importantly APPLYING.
Guess what? It’s a learning curve for EVERYBODY. Accept it. Deal with it, and work through it. You CAN know exactly WHAT to DO to build your business in a fairly short period of time.
“I’m afraid of getting rejected.”
Boy. I get this one too. I was scared to death when I started. I hated getting ‘no’s from my prospects. And darn it, I sure seemed to get an awful lot of them. And…hint, hint: I STILL do! That’s part of the game.
The thing you have to realize is that they aren’t REJECTING you. Your not asking your prospecting to marry you or go on a date, you’re simply looking to find out if they are open to creating change in their lives, and showing them a way to do it if they choose. You really have to learn to “brush off” the ‘no’s’. In fact…ask ANY person. Ask any leader, any millionaire, any billionaire and they will tell you the same, “No’s are part of the process of getting to yes.” Everyone gets them. Even the greatest, most respected people on the planet get to hear the word NO.
Just do this. Understand that it is THEM, not you. Don’t worry about it. Learn to let it bounce right off of you. It isn’t personal. Remember when you hang out with your friends…I mean your really, really good friends? Have you ever noticed how great friends, especially men, they love to give crap and tease some of their best buddies. It’s kinda how guys show love for one another. Call it weird. But, hey! We’re guys. We can be a little different at times. When a good buddy lays into you…you know it’s just teasing, even if a little mean, but it’s all in play. You don’t let that bother you, do you?
If you do, you’re even taking THAT too personally. And boy, if your friends who are playfully messing with you see you get upset….man, that’s when they REALLY lay into you. You ladies are normally a bit different in that arena. You’re generally more loving and caring. Us guys kinda like pushing buttons with our buddies and see how far we can take it.
Your prospect isn’t rejecting you. Get over it. You are waterproof. Imagine a no simply being a splash of water on your body. It hits you, you may not like it, but grab a towel and wipe it off. It’s that simple.
“I can’t stand it when people say ‘no’. It hurts.”
Same thing on this one. I can’t ever really recall getting a “no” from anyone and being overjoyed about it. Well…that’s not exactly true. I’ve had a few people I’ve encountered over the years that I was honestly praying to God, “Please Lord, don’t let this person sign up in my business.” And you know what darn it, God still put them in my business. Some stayed and figured it out…but most didn’t.
Learn to not INTERNALIZE the word “no”. If they ain’t into the deal, fine. That is THEIR decision. It’s what they feel is right for them. No reason to freak over it, it is just part of the process. The “it hurts” factor is simply someone being too sensitive and taking it personally. This is business, not a place to take things personally and get all emotional over it.
You all see me training cracking jokes, laughing, having a good time and you probably think I never have a bad day. Again…I’m just like you. I don’t like personal attacks. But you know what? I’ve just learned to let them bounce off of me. It’s the PERSON’S issue. It doesn’t mean that you or I have to take ownership over their crap. Let THEM have their issues.
NO’s are what leads to YESES. The more you prospect, the more people will say no. The more no’s you get, the universal guarantee is that you WILL get yeses. That’s how the numbers work.
“Stuff just seems to get in the way!”
Let’s see. In any given day, I have had hundreds of distractions come up, or “stuff” that can take me out of production. Here are some of the distractions I have had to deal with:
My kid cutting his hand on a snow globe and needing stitches.
A neighbor randomly stopping by uninvited.
The power going out.
My wife stuck with a dead battery.
A family fight that got out of hand.
A last minute invite to a neighbor’s barbecue.
A great game on the television.
An angry customer or distributor.
A bad experience with someone in customer service that caused one of my top reps to want to quit.
A beautiful sunny day in Seattle (that’s a big one!).
An invite to go play golf.
An internet surf session that turns into hours of education.
The house needed cleaning.
Laundry needs to be done.
Etc, etc. etc.
Of course, I could go on and on. But you see. All distractions are really equal. Certainly, some or more life threatening and require immediate attention. But, MOST of them can be CONTROLLED by YOU and your personal commitment to seeing something that you desire to happen through to completion.
How bad do you REALLY want it? Seriously. How important is achieving FREEDOM in your life to you, rather than simply getting by.
If STUFF wants to find it’s way into your life and GET IN YOUR WAY, deal with it quickly and get it OUT of the way, so that you can get back into production.
Let me ask you this. If you knew that the day after tomorrow you were leaving on a European vacation with your family for three weeks and you had a TON OF STUFF that NEEDED to get done before you leave, would you really let ANY of the above situations TOTALLY and COMPLETELY take you out of production.
Of course NOT. WHY? You have PRIORITIES that CAUSE you to take WHATEVER ACTION it takes to get those things done.
Try this. Start treating EVERY DAY like you’re going on vacation tomorrow. You will be wonderfully amazed at how much you can get done in an incredibly short period of time.
“I don’t have the confidence to prospect.”
You’re definitely NOT the only one in THAT category. First times you prospect can be a little challenging, especially when you aren’t feeling like you’ve got are your skills lined up. The more SKILL you acquire, the greater confidence you’ll have.
So…what do you do in the meantime? Face it. I had ZERO confidence when I began. Yeah, t maybe a bit hard to believe for those who’ve been following my training, but I had to start from scratch too. You should have seen me years ago. NOT a pretty site!
If you start prospecting, even though you don’t quite exactly know what you are doing yet, call it practice. The more you immerse yourself in doing it consistently, the easier it becomes. Replace your fear with courage. Make one call. Then, talk to another person. Then, do it again. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
However, if you NEVER do it, you will NEVER gain the confidence to be a big producer. Remember, you SAID you WANTED SUCCESS, right? This is also part of the process.
“I’m afraid of failing.”
Who isn’t? I mean…really. Does ANYONE like failing. Failing hurts. It doesn’t do good for your confidence or your ego.
But…being AFRAID of failing is simply going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy for you.
We are ALL programmed to FEAR failure. Ever get an “F” on a report card? Parents weren’t too happy, were they?
Ever blow a game? Strike out in the 9th inning? Miss a putt on the 18th hole? Show a presentation to a client and have them say “I thought you’d deliver something better than this, Todd.” I have. In fact, I’ve had ALL of those happen, and more.
But…being AFRAID of failing doesn’t serve you. In fact, it doesn’t serve any purpose.
Fear of failure is normal. But it is those that FACE IT, knowing that it is a possibility that have their character built up to where failure no longer becomes an option for them.
Nobody likes to lose. So…instead of focusing on failing, simply focus on winning!
“I’m afraid of succeeding.”
You know, I used to think this was silly. Why in the world would anyone be afraid of succeeding? That just seemed silly to me, until I began to study human behavior and human conditioning on a deeper level.
When an individual has been told their entire life that they will never amount to anything, or when a person who has always done things that have led to nowhere, they begin to develop that fear. Of course, there are other reasons for having a fear of success.
What will happen if I start making a bunch of money and my broke family finds out?
What are my friends going to think, all my good buddies, who have always been broke? Will they still accept me? Will I lose them as friends?
I’ve never HAD success. I’m not sure I can handle it. It might be too stressful.
If you’ve never had massive success, I can now realize why people may have a fear of it.
Try this on for size. Instead of fearing success, why not just get yourself there first, and then if you find out you don’t like it, you can always go back to what you were doing before? My guess: Probably very unlikely you will go back to what you WERE doing once you get there. Success is actually a pretty cool feeling, and one that you absolutely deserve to experience.
“It just seems hard and kind of scary.”
I’m going to tell you straight up, right now, that if you are going to be in this business and work yourself to a level of success that creates greatness in your life that you will find it hard.
Understand this though. Just because something is HARD, doesn’t mean it is impossible. And really, network marketing isn’t that HARD. Yes…it takes work, persistence, commitment, but doesn’t a lot of stuff require those same things?
My two boys are learning to swim right now. The first few times they were absolutely frightened of the water. Talk about ear cracking, piercing screams. Man! Try holding your kid in the water and have that “shrill” go right into your ear. It is LOUD!.
You know what? Those two little buggers have taken off like Flipper. They now LOVE the water. Sure, the first 10 or 15 times in the pool was a little challenging, but now they’re cruising all over the place, jumping into the pool, diving (actually belly flopping) and swimming around like the man from Atlantis. Anybody remember that show with Patrick something or other. Good 70′s show. I’m aging myself…oops.
What’s hard and scary is losing your job and not being able to find another one. What’s scary is running out of money and having to sell your home and go back to renting. What’s hard is telling your spouse that you have to sell a bunch of furniture and jewelry to pay your bills next month. What’s hard is having a new, not so nice boss give you twice the amount of work, with no raise. I could go on, but no need to. You get the point.
